Dear Son,

I wanted to take the time to tell you a few things that I will not have a chance to tell
you later. Some of this you are too young to understand and that is okay. As you
get older it will all make sense. As with a great many things you will come to find
out about in life, the older you get, the more you begin to understand. Itıs funny
though, sometimes, I used to think that things were simpler when I was your age
and did not have the first clue about the world and the way people worked.
Anyway, I am writing this to say some things I should have said more of.
You make me proud son, you always have. I have never been as proud of anything I
accomplished in my life. You keep being the way that you are and I will always be
proud of you. Your mom is proud of you too. She has probably told you though and
my only regret in leaving this life is not telling you these things. Things like I love
you. I love you more than anything on this planet, well, is it ok if I share some of
this love with your mother? She kind of grows on you doesnıt she? Yeah, I thought so.

I want you to pay attention to a few things. You need to remember some stuff that
may not seem like much now or even later, but I want you to do these things so
when people look at you they will know that your mom and I tried to raise you
right and when you look in the mirror you can be proud of the man that you have
become. Anyway, always say yes maıam, no maıam and yes sir, and no sir. Never
take what one person in your past did to you out on others and most important
always be honest and tell the truth. Honesty son, honesty is the key to this world.
You always be honest with yourself and others and you will be just fine.
Honesty wonıt always feel good and there will be many times when your heart will
get broke from being honest, but I promise you this, after the tears have dried and
the heart heals, you can look back through the dust cloud and not regret the things
unsaid. Just be yourself son and you canıt go wrong.

All right, now that I have got that out of the way, let me tell you why you are reading
this letter. This is something I wanted you to hear from me. I am sure that by the
time you read this, you ill already have been told, but I want you to know why.
We catch ourselves, all too often, searching for the reason we keep on living in life.
Most normal people, if there is such a thing, just want to live. But, then there are
those who just live for one reason and one reason only. Whether itıs a person,
money, a drug or whatever, they have validated their reason to keep on breathing at night.

Until I got a phone call one day at work, I had never really thought about things like
that. The seemed so trivial to a man in my position. I have two mortgages, a wife,
a beautiful son, and electric bill that is past due and a credit rating that couldnıt
buy a stick of gum. For a while I thought my purpose was to pay my creditors and
to get you through school. When I got the phone call from your aunt telling me that
your mom passed out at work and was in the hospital, my world crashed around me.
Your mom was really sick son; she needed a new heart or she would have died.
She was given only a few weeks to live with out a transplant and during that
time, it was hooked up to all kinds of machines. I could tell she hated it and I felt so helpless.

I was scared. I was scared for you, I couldnıt imagine you growing up with out a mother
and I did not want to think about losing the only woman in my life that had ever
made me feel whole. One day you will know what that feels like and when you do
you hold on to it and cherish it forever because it doesnıt happen very often.
I had always known that your mom and I had the same blood type. I laugh now thinking
about how we would sit up late at night giving each other a hard time. She would
tell me that I was the most hard headed and stubborn man that she ever knew and
I would tell her it was only because I had her blood running through my veins. I
donıt even have to tell you about the look she gave me, you have seen it many
times I am sure. She always made me smile though, and I hope I did the same for her; I damn sure tried.

Knowing that we had the same blood, I asked a doctor friend of mine to run some tests
on me to see if I would match her. He knew what I was doing. He also knew better
that to question me. He got all the answers he needed by my eyes when I asked him.

Remember when I said that everyone lives for something in this life? I knew what mine
was and I remember when I saw it. I was sitting in the hospital room one night
watching the your mother try to breathe. God, she was beautiful. I could sit there
with you in my lap watching her and It was almost as if the beeps and hisses from
the machines keeping her alive were not even there. There is no telling how long I
was sitting there watching her. She was beautiful. She was beautiful to me and
that was all that mattered. The doctor friend of mine came in with this funny look
on his face and asked me to step out side. I walked out into the hall way with him
and he said in an unbelieving voice, ³You two are compatible.² I shook my head with
a grin, and said, ³Yeah Doc, I always knew that.²

It was amazing to think that who ever is up in the sky making things happen, put two
people, two complete strangers into each otherıs life. Why would it be this way?
Thatıs when it hit me. My reason for living was to keep her and you safe and free of
harm and I knew what I had to do. So tonight I had a talk with you and your mom
both while you slept, I asked the lord to forgive me for what I was about to do, I
wrote this letter to you and one for your mother.

Tomorrow, I am walking into the E.R. and I am going to give the doctor a note explaining
what I am about to do and what they need to do. And I am going to take
my life to save your momıs. And Son, if you are reading this, it worked.

I love you with all my heart, you and your mother.

You take care of her like I know you can.

Love,

Dad



Click Back to return to the Writing.